A Compromising Situation.

Have you ever felt completally happy one moment, then as quickly as it came you are ready to just scream and hit a wall until your fingers are smashed and your knuckles white? That's how I've been feeling nearly every second of every day, I'm so happy but I'm so angry all the time. It's confusing and my head hurts and I keep having random panic attacks over absolutally nothing. The more I try to hold everything in the worse it gets, I would love to just say what is on my mind but you'd all hate me. Does anybody else know what I'm talking about, even in the least? Maybe I'm bi-polar. I brought up that possibility to my old therapist (he was such a major creep you don't even understand. He enjoyed giving me Reeses Cups and then watch me eat them intently. I haven't eated one since.) but he just laughed and brushed it all off. Maybe things will get better, who knows, I will just deal with this on my own just like every other thing that's been wrong so far. Because god knows I'm not going to my other other old therapist (the most recent out of the 3. She was a dumb ass. There is really no better word to describe her.) her ability to not listen to a word I say amazes me even to this day.
I just looked up Bipolar Disorder, thanks to google, I honestly think that I could have this disorder. Basically what I'm getting out of the article(s) that I've read is this:
Abrupt mood swings can occur from being depressed to a manic panic state from happy to anything really. There can be an increase or decrease in amount of sleep and food a person eats, (I havent slept in a day, and the most I've actually wanted to eat was two veggy chicken tenders, seems how I'm a vegetarian, and a cupcake my brother made for me.) There is an increase in aggitation (amount of time it takes to become aggitated) Overindulgence in activites, racing thoughts, lowered or higher self esteem (depending on the level of Bipolar dissorder we are talking about, 1 or 2)
I'm not sure but that sure sounds like me. Although a person with Bi Polar Disorder might deny that they have it...whatever. I'm proboably just going crazy, most likely. My hands are shaking pretty bad, and I don't know what to write, and CLEARLY I can't find a "theme" to follow with these blogs.
(I used this picture because many people believe Van Gogh suffered
from bipolar disorder. Bipolar and manic dissorders are commonly
believed to be associated with the arts. Many authors say that
when they have an episode of manic behavior it influences their
high points in writing. Um hello, I write books like it's my job and I
ONLY write when I'm mid panic attack. Just saying.)